Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most ferocious animal on earth.
---
Elizabeth Taylor-Hilton-Wilding-Todd-Fischer-Burton-Burton-Warner-Fortensky
(for those of you at home keeping score)
---
San Francisco issues a ban on aerosols!
(Riot squads given roll-on tear gas.)
---
I have a friend who says he's gonna quit his job to serve the Lord.
(but only in an advisory capacity)
---
He told his dog to heel and pup stopped limping.
--
The best Christmas gift I ever got was a Deluxe Ant Farm With Ant Tractor, Ant Cows, Ant Chickens. A dragon fly as a crop duster
---
Little Known Fact: Alligators wont eat you if you're carrying a flashlight. It all depends how fast you carry it.
---
I used to work at a Japanese Fast Food place where you took off only one shoe.
---
Getting old isn't so bad. But when your memory goes, forget it.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
McCain for Vice-President!
What happens if the convention nominates a Vice-Presidential candidate and s/he says no? Can you say no? I mean, if the Democrats were to select you as Obama's running mate, what could ya do? "If nominated, I will not run. If elected I will not serve"?
Sez who?
So -- and here's the mindfuck -- the Democrats nominate John McCain as Obama's running mate!
All of a sudden, the issue gets turned on its ear!
"McCain is obviously the second-best candidate for President this year. And that's how the Founding Fathers wanted it, even though the actual process got complicated and led to the 12th Amendment."
If McCain went all Sherman at the prospect, he'd look like a power-grabber who wants it all nor nothing. Since McCain has flip-flopped on all sorts of issues, the Democrats could emphasize his flips (and/or flops) and say, "Yeah. That's why he's the second-best candidate for President."
And after McCain is sworn in as Vice-President they hand him a boot full of warm piss.
If he stayed in office (and scheduled motorcades in Dallas for his boss) he'd have a chance at the Oval Office. If he resigned or refused to be inaugurated as Veep, the Senate would approve a replacement.
Sez who?
So -- and here's the mindfuck -- the Democrats nominate John McCain as Obama's running mate!
All of a sudden, the issue gets turned on its ear!
"McCain is obviously the second-best candidate for President this year. And that's how the Founding Fathers wanted it, even though the actual process got complicated and led to the 12th Amendment."
If McCain went all Sherman at the prospect, he'd look like a power-grabber who wants it all nor nothing. Since McCain has flip-flopped on all sorts of issues, the Democrats could emphasize his flips (and/or flops) and say, "Yeah. That's why he's the second-best candidate for President."
And after McCain is sworn in as Vice-President they hand him a boot full of warm piss.
If he stayed in office (and scheduled motorcades in Dallas for his boss) he'd have a chance at the Oval Office. If he resigned or refused to be inaugurated as Veep, the Senate would approve a replacement.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
More Random Thoughts
Rod McKuen: The most understood poet in America.
---
Then she told me, "The sexual revolution has come and you're no Castro."
---
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE
If you were one of the 7 Dwarfs, which would you be?
Sneezy, Sleepy, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey
---
Snow White is all about drugs.
Snow White? Coker.
Dopey? Obvious.
Happy? X.
Bashful. Paranoid.
Doc. The connection.
Sleepy. Downers.
Grumpy? Jonesin'.
Sneezy, Remember that scene in Annie Hall?
---
And then I told her, "This isnt puppy love, this is dog love."
---
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happy hour.
---
She said: "My body is God's temple and my soul is the caretaker. Like a custodian of a church, ya know? And you don't let just anybody come up and stick his dick inside a church."
---
My football career ended early, right after a tackling dummy stopped me three yards behind the line of scrimmage.
---
I didn't make it as a terrorist. They sent me to blow up a car but I burned my lips on the tailpipe.
---
She's raising money to build a drive-up window at the Eye Bank.
---
Then she told me, "The sexual revolution has come and you're no Castro."
---
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE
If you were one of the 7 Dwarfs, which would you be?
Sneezy, Sleepy, Doc, Bashful, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey
---
Snow White is all about drugs.
Snow White? Coker.
Dopey? Obvious.
Happy? X.
Bashful. Paranoid.
Doc. The connection.
Sleepy. Downers.
Grumpy? Jonesin'.
Sneezy, Remember that scene in Annie Hall?
---
And then I told her, "This isnt puppy love, this is dog love."
---
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happy hour.
---
She said: "My body is God's temple and my soul is the caretaker. Like a custodian of a church, ya know? And you don't let just anybody come up and stick his dick inside a church."
---
My football career ended early, right after a tackling dummy stopped me three yards behind the line of scrimmage.
---
I didn't make it as a terrorist. They sent me to blow up a car but I burned my lips on the tailpipe.
---
She's raising money to build a drive-up window at the Eye Bank.
The "Surge" is working. And other fantasies...
"Victory in Iraq" has become Neo-CON pornography.
They can't define it, but claim they'll recognize it when they see it.
The "Surge" wasn't implemented "to subdue violence." Although, if you ignore the hundred thousand or so Iraqi civilians who've died since the "Surge," the "Surge" has been "successful" on that front. The "Surge" was supposed to provide an environment for democracy to take its course.
And even, in that respect, the "Surge" has worked. The nascent post-Saddam Iraqi government has chosen to make diplomatic overtures toward Iran (aka "the Iraq-Pakistan border," by John Sidney McCain the Third - for Shrub's 3rd term) and specifically endorsed a 16-month timetable for removal of American occupation troops from their borders.
If the "Surge" has worked, to what end?
What exactly are American taxpayers getting for their Ten-Billion-Dollars-a-Month investment in Iraq?
In pure capitalist terms, what has George WMD Bush won with his commitment of a half-trillion dollars and 4500 American lives? Where's the pay-off?
You've had more than five years of Shrub's little Iraqi Adventure. What's it won? How is your life better? How will you know we can achieve John Sidney McCain the Third's (for Shrub's 3rd term) dream of leaving Iraq in "victory?"
George WMD Bush's Iraq War ("Mission Accomplished!") and the five-year occupation is the biggest foreign policy fiasco in American history.
"The 'Surge' is working!" is the most pathetic attempt at political rationalization since "Mussolini made the trains run on time."
They can't define it, but claim they'll recognize it when they see it.
The "Surge" wasn't implemented "to subdue violence." Although, if you ignore the hundred thousand or so Iraqi civilians who've died since the "Surge," the "Surge" has been "successful" on that front. The "Surge" was supposed to provide an environment for democracy to take its course.
And even, in that respect, the "Surge" has worked. The nascent post-Saddam Iraqi government has chosen to make diplomatic overtures toward Iran (aka "the Iraq-Pakistan border," by John Sidney McCain the Third - for Shrub's 3rd term) and specifically endorsed a 16-month timetable for removal of American occupation troops from their borders.
If the "Surge" has worked, to what end?
What exactly are American taxpayers getting for their Ten-Billion-Dollars-a-Month investment in Iraq?
In pure capitalist terms, what has George WMD Bush won with his commitment of a half-trillion dollars and 4500 American lives? Where's the pay-off?
You've had more than five years of Shrub's little Iraqi Adventure. What's it won? How is your life better? How will you know we can achieve John Sidney McCain the Third's (for Shrub's 3rd term) dream of leaving Iraq in "victory?"
George WMD Bush's Iraq War ("Mission Accomplished!") and the five-year occupation is the biggest foreign policy fiasco in American history.
"The 'Surge' is working!" is the most pathetic attempt at political rationalization since "Mussolini made the trains run on time."
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
So somebody asked if Barack Obama is a narcissist...
I have a healthy self-image.
YOU are an egotist.
THEY are narcissists.
This must be thelamest latest trial balloon talking point from the McLame campaign.
If we're going to do some armchair psychoanalysis let's discuss the narcissistic character traits John Sidney McCain the Third (for Shrub's 3rd term) demonstrated when he abandoned his first wife and three kids because she was no longer a swimsuit model due to a crippling accident in favor of the sweet young Beer Queen of Arizona's quarter-of-a-billion dollar dowry.
Or let's get into a discussion of the leadership qualities one might expect from a lifelong "maverick." A maverick isn't a leader; it's an out-of-control renegade. People don't follow a maverick.
Leadership is an enigmatic concept for a lot of people. (Why did the Supremes flop without Diana Ross and Van Halen didn't miss a beat between David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar?) Abraham Lincoln had about as much experience (also in the Illinois legislature and the United States Congress) and became the most impressive president in history. All he had was "pretty speeches" and a vision.
For forty years (since they killed Bobby Kennedy) Americans have been craving someone who is thoughtful and wise beyond his years and sincerely in love with the promise of what our Founding Fathers hoped to craft with the Constitution. Americans are craving a leader.
Is Obama a politician? Well, duh.
Guess what? My dentist is a dentist! My mechanic is a mechanic! My barber is ababe barber! Perhaps when we consider hiring someone to be the most important politician in the world, perhaps we should consider a ... oh, I dunno... a politician?
Lincoln was a politician. FDR was a politician. Reagan was a politician.
And all of 'em were narcissistic as hell.
YOU are an egotist.
THEY are narcissists.
This must be the
If we're going to do some armchair psychoanalysis let's discuss the narcissistic character traits John Sidney McCain the Third (for Shrub's 3rd term) demonstrated when he abandoned his first wife and three kids because she was no longer a swimsuit model due to a crippling accident in favor of the sweet young Beer Queen of Arizona's quarter-of-a-billion dollar dowry.
Or let's get into a discussion of the leadership qualities one might expect from a lifelong "maverick." A maverick isn't a leader; it's an out-of-control renegade. People don't follow a maverick.
Leadership is an enigmatic concept for a lot of people. (Why did the Supremes flop without Diana Ross and Van Halen didn't miss a beat between David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar?) Abraham Lincoln had about as much experience (also in the Illinois legislature and the United States Congress) and became the most impressive president in history. All he had was "pretty speeches" and a vision.
For forty years (since they killed Bobby Kennedy) Americans have been craving someone who is thoughtful and wise beyond his years and sincerely in love with the promise of what our Founding Fathers hoped to craft with the Constitution. Americans are craving a leader.
Is Obama a politician? Well, duh.
Guess what? My dentist is a dentist! My mechanic is a mechanic! My barber is a
Lincoln was a politician. FDR was a politician. Reagan was a politician.
And all of 'em were narcissistic as hell.
On Oil, Diamonds, and Birthday Cards
Those who worship at the altar of laizzes faire capitalism don’t understand that the law of Supply and Demand no longer applies to the Oil Bidness.
It’s like what DeBeers did with diamonds. Diamonds aren’t particularly rare. They’re carbon; highly-evolved coal. But, like good 19th Century monopolists, the DeBeers pretty much cornered the market on these rocks and started marketing them as de rigeur for young kids wanting to get married. It’s like how Hallmark marketed a “need” to get someone a birthday or Christmas card; how they made Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day somehow dependent on cards.
There is no shortage of oil. There are no 70s-style gas lines and rationing; no "Out of Gas" signs. If you have the four-bucks-a-gallon (or five, or six, whatever) you can get all the gasoline you want. Just like you can get all the big-ass diamonds you want, if you pay the price.
DeBeers has tons of diamonds in its vaults in London. They just sell them a few at a time, at premium prices, thanks to trumped-up “rarity” of the product.
Big Oil has millions of American acres under lease for drilling. If those leases aren’t productive, why would Big Oil keep ‘em? If those leases are potentially productive, why wouldn’t Big Oil develop them? Because all those leases are like DeBeers’ diamonds in that vault. The only way to keep profitable is to create a false “rarity” and jack up the prices.
It’s like what DeBeers did with diamonds. Diamonds aren’t particularly rare. They’re carbon; highly-evolved coal. But, like good 19th Century monopolists, the DeBeers pretty much cornered the market on these rocks and started marketing them as de rigeur for young kids wanting to get married. It’s like how Hallmark marketed a “need” to get someone a birthday or Christmas card; how they made Mother’s Day and Valentine’s Day somehow dependent on cards.
There is no shortage of oil. There are no 70s-style gas lines and rationing; no "Out of Gas" signs. If you have the four-bucks-a-gallon (or five, or six, whatever) you can get all the gasoline you want. Just like you can get all the big-ass diamonds you want, if you pay the price.
DeBeers has tons of diamonds in its vaults in London. They just sell them a few at a time, at premium prices, thanks to trumped-up “rarity” of the product.
Big Oil has millions of American acres under lease for drilling. If those leases aren’t productive, why would Big Oil keep ‘em? If those leases are potentially productive, why wouldn’t Big Oil develop them? Because all those leases are like DeBeers’ diamonds in that vault. The only way to keep profitable is to create a false “rarity” and jack up the prices.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Random Thoughts
Square Dance: The other rap music.
---
I wasn't a good student. Bad test scores. Didn't get into Hamburger University. Had to go to Hamburger Junior College for two years. Got my Associates Degree in Pickle Placement.
---
I am a humanist, just as my cat is a catist. Only natural to back the home team.
---
Ideals (revised) -- The truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. Pick any two.
---
Yogism: When you think about it, everything you could think of is there without thinking about it.
---
Why? Why? Why is the moth attracted to the flame? What sends the lemming to the sea? What is the capital of North Dakota? Some questions are unanswerable.
---
It takes 3,000 cows a year to make one season's worth of NFL game balls. Makes me wonder who trained 'em to run those sewing machines.
---
Forgotten Historical Figures -- Michelangelo's brother, Tony, who painted the Sistine porch.
---
Nearly half of all marriages end in death. No wonder divorce seems like the better option.
---
Why dont they just train regular cranes to whoop?
---
I wasn't a good student. Bad test scores. Didn't get into Hamburger University. Had to go to Hamburger Junior College for two years. Got my Associates Degree in Pickle Placement.
---
I am a humanist, just as my cat is a catist. Only natural to back the home team.
---
Ideals (revised) -- The truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. Pick any two.
---
Yogism: When you think about it, everything you could think of is there without thinking about it.
---
Why? Why? Why is the moth attracted to the flame? What sends the lemming to the sea? What is the capital of North Dakota? Some questions are unanswerable.
---
It takes 3,000 cows a year to make one season's worth of NFL game balls. Makes me wonder who trained 'em to run those sewing machines.
---
Forgotten Historical Figures -- Michelangelo's brother, Tony, who painted the Sistine porch.
---
Nearly half of all marriages end in death. No wonder divorce seems like the better option.
---
Why dont they just train regular cranes to whoop?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
